


no need to be anything but oneself

by Itgoeson



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: But also, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Not Quite a Proposal, Rings, most of the crew but they're not main so i won't get your hopes up, shiny things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 01:25:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15719058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itgoeson/pseuds/Itgoeson
Summary: Taako is definitely, one-hundo-percent, not at all thinking about upping the stakes in his and Kravitz' relationship. And, if he were, it would absolutely not be a big deal.(And, if he were, he might be freaking out just a little. It's not every day you and death get serious.)





	no need to be anything but oneself

“Krav, my guy, what’s the first thing you noticed about me?”

Kravitz hums, playing absently with Taako’s hair. So few people get to touch it that, every time Taako deigns to let him run his hands to loosen the braids and re-braid it however he wants, it’s the only thing he can focus on. 

The reverence is likely the only reason Taako allows him the honor.

So he says the first thing that comes to mind, instead of something more flattering or flirtatious. “That you were funny.”

Taako stills under his hands. “Just funny, huh?” His voice is unreadable. Kravitz supposes he should’ve come up with a better first impression to have as the silence grows into a lurking predator, and Kravitz becomes more and more convinced that Taako will be huffy and insufferable for the next few hours. He might take away playing-with-hair privileges, even. But then Takko asks, voice raising an octave in a way that means  _ totally nonchalant, nothing important in this question, move along, _ like a liar, “And what else did you think of me, after the first time we met?”

Maybe Taako’s having an honest day, or as close as Taako gets, Kravitz thinks. He decides to stick with honesty regardless. Taako could use more transparency in his life. “That you were sparkly.”

It startles a laugh out of Taako, who crunches up like a pill bug, yanking the hair in Kravitz’ grip tight and painful, but he still doesn’t stop laughing. “Sparkly?”

Kravitz blushes a little but presses on. “I liked your earrings. They’re all shiny, and silver and gemstones. I liked that. And then you wore that sequined skirt — the one you always complain about being too scratchy? With just. Love, you had on so many bracelets.” He shrugs and mumbles, “I wanted to keep you.”

Taako raises up on his elbows to show Kravitz his smile. “Keep me?” he asks, not leading, just curious, off-guard. 

“Keep you,” he confirms. 

“I like the sound of that,” Taako tells him, settling back down in Kravtiz’ lap. He wriggles until he’s comfortable again, 

 

Taako doesn’t know what it’s not like, but it’s  _ not like that _ , anyway, and he’s sticking to that. He’s sticking to that when he calls Merle, insufferable as he is about shit like this, on his stone of farspeech at 3:18 in the morning. He gets halfway through the first sentence. (“So hypothetically —” “That’s a big word for you, Taako, you’re learning from that school of yours —” “Shut the fuck up, I was trying to ask —” “I didn’t touch your crawling ivy at your new school, they just needed a shoulder to cry on, you need to listen to them —” “MERLE FUCKING WHATEVER YOUR LAST AND MIDDLE NAMES ARE —”)

He’s still sticking to the fact that this is nothing, it’s so not important that he hasn’t even told Kravitz about it, hasn’t floated the idea by Lup, even, that’s how mad casual this is. Real chill. Which is why he’s knocking on Magnus’ door in the dead of night, hood up, black robe on, ears tucked down and flattened against his skull. Because it’s not even important enough to do during the day!

He casts Blink and hops through into Magnus’ living room when he doesn’t open the door, continuing to clip through the house until he’s standing above Magnus’ bed. He also realizes that this is a very stupid idea, and pokes him in the arm before Blinking back ten feet, out of the Death Zone as Magnus comes awake and pulls out a dagger,  _ what the fuck Magnus _ . 

So it’s all very fine and casual, as Taako airily tells him that he’ll be in the kitchen making tea while Magnus wipes off the drool and changes out of his  _ Raven Lunatic _ boxers that Kravitz got him last Candlenights. Taako makes a mental note to tell Krav about that, sometime, when this is all over with. 

Magnus shuffles into the kitchen, hair and sideburns tangled, sticking up at odd angles, a crease on his cheek from the pillowcase. He’s wearing a shirt now, at least. “It’s not like we haven’t lived in the same space for over a century, Taako,” he grouches when Taako curls up his lip and gives him a scathing once-over.

He’s got a point, so Taako moves on. “I want something pretty.”

Magnus sighs and flops into a chair at the table, swiping Taako’s cup of tea. 

Taako huffs and takes the one he’d left undoctored for Magnus, adding his own honey to it all over again. “Dumbass. So: pretty things. Chop chop, bro.”

“What,” Magnus says, pushing his whole face over his steaming mug like the warmth will give him the will to continue living at — he looks mournfully at the clock — 4 in the morning. “You know how to get pretty things,” he says after a beat. “You wear pretty things all the time.”

“But this is a secret pretty. And I’m  _ Taako,  _ you know,  _ from TV, _ and also from  _ the literal story broadcasted to the entire planet _ .”

“You can just order lingerie with your stone of farspeech, you don’t have to do that in public at all,” Magnus tells him earnestly. “Or you can have Kravitz pick it up.” He raises his hands when Taako makes a noise like a strangled housecat. “I used to do it for Jules, it’s not as bad as you’d think, everyone does stuff like that.”

Taako sniffs. “Like I care about anyone knowing how dope my underwear is. This is… a present,” he settles on saying. He clears his throat. 

“A present?! I love those.”

The worst part is that Magnus really does. He’s really excited about this. He’s insufferable during Candlenights. Taako refuses to talk to him during that entire month every year. “I know big guy. So if I wanted to get a secret present, I would need help for that.”

“Just have Kravitz magic portal you somewhere?”

“It’s for Kravitz.”

Magnus deflates. “Oh.” Then he snaps up, like the thought is just now occurring to him. “What kind of  _ secret present _ are we talking about here?”

Taako huffs and gulps at his tea. A little bit of it spills, and his ears twitch back and forth as he dabs it off the robe he’s wearing over his pajama crop top and flannel capris. He pushes the teacup away and taps on the table. “A ring. Sparkly. I’m thinking purple? Blue? Black would match the aesthetic, but at what cost, you know?”

Across from him, Magnus’ eyes nearly bulge out of his head. It’s gross and uncalled for. “A what? Does he know? Have you guys talked about marriage? You’re not thinking of a public proposal, are you? Because it’s a dick move to do that where he feels like he can’t say no, even if it’s just around your sister. Oh my god, have you guys even talked about —”

“Buddy, I will magic missile your ass into the Plane of Thought if you don’t shut the fuck up and recommend me someone who can make me a ring on the DL.”

 

It’s not a big deal. Maybe it is, though, a middle-ish deal? It’s the middle-est deal that Taako has to deal with in his retirement from saving the world, at least.

He’s blaming being brunch-drunk on the ring the ring he just ordered, and the way it’s gonna look on Kravitz’ hand when he  _ totally says yes, natch _ . It’s a middle-ish deal, he can get tipsy on mimosas if he wants. There’s nothing Lup and Barry can say to him to make him feel bad about it. 

Barry clears his throat. “Taako… do we need to, uh,  _ talk _ about something?” He cuts his eyes over to Lup and back, tilting his head. Taako suddenly remembers every midnight chat they’d drunkenly had, every time he wrapped around Barry to get him to sleep, every time he’d accidentally wiped his snot on Barry’s shirt after crying. He and Barry had been shredded every time Lup died. It never got particularly easier. They never discussed it, outside of those times. They were just… talks.

Taako realizes that maybe there was one thing that Barry could say to make him feel bad.

Now that he’s acknowledging the issue, his stomach is pressing against his skin, bloated with anxiety. He can feel the prickle of the chair against his thighs, ballooned out from under his skirt, spilling like dough over a too-small pan.

Taako is perfect, natch, but he’s also been a wreck, before. He’s been a wreck without his sister every time. He’s been selfish, dumb, greedy,  _ vacant _ . He could be those things with Kravitz. He’s a wreck now, sometimes, waking Kravitz up in the middle of the night just to ask if he still loves him, or from nightmares, or just because he can’t sleep and he makes it Kravitz’ problem, too. 

But he also. He’s Kravitz’ mess. He wants Kravitz to have the option to walk away, and to stay. Talking to Barry and Lup about it before he talks to Kravitz about this whole  _ deal _ feels wrong.

He smiles and reaches forward for another drink, overly careful not to spill. “Nah, Taako’s good.”

And that’s true, for the most part. A month goes by, and then two. It’s fine enough to live with.

Taako thinks about bringing it up with Kravitz. Of course he does. But when he thinks about it, it feels empty. He wants to put this thing on the line. He wants to not just offer him a conversation.

Kravitz knows something’s up, of course. He’s caught Taako staring into space, or at Kravitz himself, lips thin but tucked into a worried smile. It’s the same expression he gives Kravitz when Kravitz talks about work, sometimes — when he’s talking about eldritch horrors and pain incomprehensible to most people, but it’s Kravitz, so he can’t bother to be freaked out or whatever lame reaction most people have.

It doesn’t matter, because the lady he’d ordered the ring from had sent a letter the other day to notify him that the ring was ready to be picked up. All that was left was to sneak away to pick it up. 

He couldn’t figure out if the feeling in his chest was elation or dread. He chose not to think about it.

That should have been it. Kravitz was always gone on work, and when he wasn’t, Taako generally was. It sometimes felt like they spent longer coordinating their days off through post-it notes and snippets of conversation on their stones of farspeech. Technically, Taako should have been able to pop over after Kravitz left for work that Friday afternoon. 

Weekends were hotbeds of necrotic activity, turns out. Taako relied on having the house to himself, and thus able to be empty with no questions asked.

Taako was wrong.

Kravitz grumbled when Taako stirred, that morning, shoving his face into Taako’s neck.

“It can wait,” he muttered.

Taako laughed. “What can, handsome?”

“Anything.”

Taako felt his heart settle, his stomach return to normal. The feeling was back, but this time it was edging towards elation, towards a  _ promise _ , away from the seething fangs of fear that had been sinking into him at odd moments. “Anything? Even creepy-crawlers? Even wanna-be Barrys?”

Kravitz rubs his nose into Taako’s neck. Even with a heartbeat, it’s still freezing.

“Think about it. Barold, but worse, because there’s more than one of them.”

Kravitz shudders. “Darling, please don’t speak that. From your lips to a god’s ears.”

Taako tugs at one of Kravitz’s ears. “Right. Because the gods care that much about li’l ol’ Taako.”

“Well,” Kravitz says agreeably, “I do. They should, too.”

“So much blasphemy from you this morning, keep going.”

That, at least, gets Kravitz to sit up. “You’re right. I got the day off, and I’m spending it talking about something other than us.”

“The day?” His voice shoots right up several octaves. Kravitz raises a confused eyebrow. 

“Well, the weekend, more like. But I. Uh. I figured you’d want to make the rounds, visit other people, after, uh, today.”

“You sap! You absolute willowy sap of a half-tiefling. You’ve been planning this?” Taako is so delighted that he momentarily forgets to be dismayed. When he realizes that this is going to royally screw his plans, though, his ears twitch in frustration. He’d worked himself up to picking it up today. He was ready. Half a day there, half a day back. He had plans. “So, uh, the  _ whole _ weekend, Bone Daddy?”

Kravitz’ grin fades. “You don’t uhm. You don’t have to spend it with me. I can see if anyone else is free? It would be nice to hang out with, uh, people not from work.” He winces when he realizes he’s saying he doesn’t want to hang out with Taako’s sister and brother-in-law, but Taako doesn’t give him the time to work himself up over it.

“Hey, no, I want all the Krav-time. That’s a — uh — universal constant. Like gravity. Kravity!”

Kravitz laughs at that, halfheartedly shoving at his shoulder.

“No, but uh, really, my dude. I just had, maybe, an errand.”

“I could run it with you,” Kravitz tells him, eyes wide and earnest. His hands hover in the air before dropping back to his lap, careful to not overwhelm Taako.

And that’s. That’s a lot to handle. Taako’s blinking hard, clearing his throat. “Well, uh —”

“Oh goddess, Taako, what’s. No, I can stay here! I can cook breakfast, I just. What’s wrong?”

Taako shakes his head. “Nothing, babe. You’re just — you’re sweet. I love you. What uh, what would you say about chauffeuring me around then? It’s a four-hour horse ride from here, you could uh. Make it easy on me.”

Kravitz shrugs his shoulder blades. It’s an adorably bird-like motion he does when he’s unsure. Taako wonders where he picked it up, or if being an emissary of the Raven Queen just turns people a little fowl. “Would you… do you want that?”

He takes a deep breath. “Sure you can help me, stud. One condition: no questions until we get back.”

“I promise.”

“And after we get back, you’re on thin ice with the interrogation.”

Kravitz laughs at him again, the tension broken. He takes Taako’s hand and brushes a kiss against his knuckles. “Of course. I’ll get ready to go.”

“You can just materialize into being being ready, you giant nerd,” Taako calls after him when he makes to go to the bathroom.

Kravitz grins over his shoulder and attempts his worst Fantasy Australian accent. “You wouldn’t be able to shower with me then, mate.”

He doesn’t make his dexterity save to dodge the shoe Taako throws at him, but he’s still grinning when Taako demands that he be the one to shampoo Taako’s ridiculous amount of hair, so it all works out in the end. 

 

Kravitz keeps his promise. They bicker, just a little, on the way there. It’s a two-second trip, but Taako dithers over where to drop him off, and how long it’ll take for him to get back. Kravitz bears it with a bemused grin and good-natured sniping. 

But it gets done, and Taako only has to deal with a little bit of embarrassment as the lady who’s made the ring smiles knowingly at his sweaty palms and shaking hands. She gives him a wink and a feather. “For luck,” she says.

It’s a raven feather, glossy and stiff. Magnus had said that she did amazing metal work, and she’d seemed thrilled at the design they’d created together. It made sense that she’d worship the Raven Queen. Still, Taako had never had great passive perception, so it comes as a surprise. A nice surprise! He tips her an extra twenty gold and smiles. “Luckier than you know,” he says with a grin.

Outside and around the corner, Kravitz is standing with his back to the wall, a thousand-yard-stare on his face that makes him look just as unapproachable as he is with his scythe out and hood up. 

Taako grins. “Hey, babe. Look what I got!” He holds up the feather and breaks into an ugly laugh when Kravitz wrinkles his nose. 

“You dragged us to this podunk town on a Friday for a feather?” he asks, baffled.

“What did I say about questions, my dude?” Taako asks, sticking the feather in his breath pocket and patting it. “There ya go. Nice and spoopy.”

Kravitz’ frown eases a little as he brings his own hand up to run a finger over the feather. “It’s not  _ wholly _ untouched by the Goddess,” he settles on saying. “But you know the cats are going to jump on it the minute we get home.”

“Not my fault you’re so climbable, my dude. Now what do you say about us getting home?”

Kravitz rolls his eyes and offers an arm for Taako to take hold of. “Let’s find a nice backstreet to disappear into then, shall we?”

Taako took the proffered arm with a grin. “I’d disappear into your back alley any time, Bone Daddy.”

Kravitz is trying to play it cool. But Taako can feel the curiosity and energy sparking from him, the interest. He holds it in as he materializes his scythe to rip a hole in reality and drops them into their kitchen. He clears his throat and Taako — Taako’s heart is in his throat, he’s dizzy with anticipation. Here’s where Kravitz grills him, where he demands to know what’s happening, where he reminds him that Death is no errand boy and he deserves answers for his time. Here’s where Kravitz reminds him that he’s seen eons, seen time itself, knows how civilizations fall and knows intimately of life and death and he certainly knows what Taako, mortal and frail as he is, has been up to.

Instead, he steps back.

“I can make us Phandalin toast, if you want? We have a few eggs left.”

Just like that, Kravitz drops the weirdness of the entire morning. He’s not asking about what happened, or complaining the Taako kept him away from breakfast for too long. He’s just… rummaging around their fridge. 

_ Their  _  fridge. 

Well, of course he is. So, of course Taako has to ask. 

“Hey, thug, before we do that. Could you, uh, pop a squat up at our table here? I want to talk to you about something.”

Kravitz’ gaze is unreadable, but he nods and sits at their table anyway, folding his hands in front of him as he does so. It’s so proper and gentlemanly. 

“First off,” Taako starts, staring over Kravtiz’ shoulder. He clears his throat. “First off, I uh. Well I love you. So however this conversation ends, just know that I love you no matter what. So that’s, uh, out of the way.”

Across from him, Kravitz’ face has shifted towards concern. “Taako, I kno—”

“Not done yet, homie. Need to get this out in one go.” He laughs weakly. “Taako’s bad at feelings, but I’m trying. But you uh. You make me a better person. And, no offense here, but I think I make you uh, better too. A better emissary? A better death?”

Kravitz snorts at him. Somehow, it bolsters his resolve. “Right. So. We’re good. Together. And you, uh.” Taako sniffs, trying to not give in to the tears that are trying to mess up his eyeliner. “You think I’m funny, and shiny, and you don’t care that I’m not beautiful anymore, or that I— that I’ve done some things I can’t ever take back. I love that about you. I. Krav, I adore that about you. So this, uh.” He jams his hand into his pocket, brings out a small box and flings it onto the table between them. He’s staring intently at Kravitz’ hands as they flinch towards the box and hover, again, until Taako nods. “I know we don’t really. We can’t get married. I’m technically an alien and you’re dead. Also, we kinda already are, in some important ways. But uh. Think of it like a promise. From me to you. If you want me, you’ve uh. You’ve got me.”

He takes a deep breath, ready to ramble some more. He’s about to start reminding him that he loves him or something until he notices that Kravitz is covering his mouth with one hand, the open box clutched tightly to his chest with the other. “Taako, I…”

His ears flick down, towards his shoulders. “It’s okay, Krav,” is all Taako can force through numb lips. “If you don’t want to wear it, or whatever, it’s… it’s okay.” He grins, and it only feels a little like dying, and he should know. “I love you.”

“No, Taako, I. Thank you. I love it. I.” He’s beaming, once he drops his hand away from his mouth to greedily paw the ring from the box. “Which finger did you mean for me to put it on? I’m — hah, I think I’m shaking too much to get it on by myself.  _ Taako, _ ” he says again, stunned, reverent. “You’ve been planning this for me?”

“Of course. You’re. You mean so much to me. I — no, here, I’ve got it, I’ve got you, babe,” he says, batting Kravitz’ hand out of the way and slipping the ring on his finger himself. “There, now you’re shiny too.”

It’s objectively dumb to say. The Raven Queen loves shiny things, too, so of course Kravitz has silver threaded into his wardrobe at all times. Besides, he loves things that glitter almost as much as Taako does. But this is them, together, with a flashy ring that won’t puff away at a thought. Or, well, it can, if Kravitz wants it to, because it’s an attuned ring that can kind of… blend into the user’s powers? Taako was only concerned that this bad boy would be stylish and efficient, he doesn’t want to get into the enchantments he’d asked for in the ring. 

But Kravitz — Kravitz looks like he loves it. Loves Taako. He pulls him down into a kiss, fluttering the hand with its new ring over Taako’s hair until they’re both giggling into the kiss. 

“I love you, Taako. I… I’d like to consider us married, too, if that’s okay.”

“Kravy, baby, I love you, but we own cats together. We have a shared Fantasy Netflix account, and I let you touch my hair. You can consider us married any time you want.”

  
  



End file.
